Monday, October 6, 2014

As with all rules...

             As with all rules, even silly rules, they are usually put in place because the event it is referring to has happened.  Yes.  All of these rules have been put in place because of previous incidents or because of great planning.  My children tease me that I have to many rules, but as you can see with the list below, some of them are just necessary.  With seven children almost anything can happen.  Trust me.  ANYTHING can happen.  Praise the Lord for that.  What an incredible blessing of adventure they bring to our home!
I know some of them would fall under the category of "Oh gross!", but Hey!  It's real life!  And it's mine...

House Rules

1.    No tinkling into the coop for the baby chickens, especially when the coop is in the house.
2.    Do not vacuum up the chicken poop.  It makes the vacuum and the hall closet smell really bad.
3.    Do not hit chickens with sticks when you are chasing them.
4.    Do not eat chicken poop.  Don’t even try it.  It is not good for you.  Icky. Icky.
5.    Do not chase your brother with the mop.
6.    Do not chew gum that you find already chewed at the park.
7.    Do not pour the honey onto the table, or onto the chair your bare feet are standing on.
8.    Do not tape your brother to a tree even if he asks you to.  This is especially important if mommy is not home.
9.    Do not fasten your stuffed animals in anyway to the ceiling fan.  They can go for a ride on the swing set instead.
10. Do not keep your snail collection behind the couch in the house.
11. Do not turn the refrigerator or freezer knobs to the “off” position.  This is especially bad right before mommy is planning to entertain for dinner.
12. Do not chase each other with butter knives.
13. No you may not kill a bear with a butter knife.
14. Do not drink ketchup out of a sippy cup.
15. Do not open three boxes of almond milk at the same time.
16. Do not mix a container of almond milk with popcorn and water.
17. Do not serve this “drink” to your brothers or yourself.
18. Do not drink out of the fishbowl.
19. Do not try to hunt the fish with a butter knife.
20. Do not mix syrup and baking soda on the pantry floor.
21. Do not climb on the counter to unlock the high lock daddy put on the pantry.
22. Do not empty mommy's hair products out.
23. Do not kiss anybody’s eyeball.
24. Do not take a bite out of anyone’s deodorant.
25. Do not pour the container of laundry soap on the laundry room floor.  This isn’t really how the clothes get clean.
26. Do not chase your brother with a PVC pipe.
27. Do not put rose petals in the VCR.
28. Don’t encourage the dog to walk on the table.
29. Don’t put the dog in the baby’s crib.
30. Do not put extra covers on the baby with out asking.
31. Stop telling your brother that FedEx is coming to pick him up.
32. Take your muddy boots off before you come in the house.
    Do not put gravel in the hubcaps of the car.  This makes daddy think that the           breaks are having a really bad problem.
33. Do not look up in the bottom of the vacuum while it is running.  This is really bad when your sister is the one looking and she has really long hair.  This can cause her hair to get sucked up really fast.  If this does happen, pull the vacuum off of the child’s head quickly in one smooth motion.  Kind of like a big heave. 
34. Do not pour milk on your sister.  This is not considered “water” in a water fight.
35. Do not tie your grandparents to the sofa bed at three in the morning with yarn.
36. Do not paint the dog.
37. Do not paint the house without Daddy or Mama’s permission.
38. Do not glue anything to the carpet.
39. Do not put the baby on the treadmill to see how fast he can crawl.
40. You must keep your clothes on in Sunday School.
41. Do not paint the chickens.
42. No chickens allowed to free range walk in the house.  I know this is ok at your Aunt’s house but not here!
43. Do not run thru the house with a pail of water.

44. DO NOT take Mama’s dark chocolate with out asking.

No comments:

Post a Comment