We Played In the Rain

                                             at grandpas's 100th birthday - october 30, 2014


a  week ago i left my 100 year old grandfather's hospital room and on my way out he stopped my husband and me.  he said "keep taking trips.  go on picnics.  be together as a family.  that's where the memories are."

two days ago my mother told me that grandpa had officially been put on hospice care.  my children were just finishing their lunch and we talked about the new information we knew about grandpa miller.  we went to the front porch to watch the rain pour down.  it was amazing.  the curious slowly left the cover of the porch and inched their way out to the lawn looking back to me to see if the were going to get called back or not.  i let them play.  soon there were big splashes in the river of a gutter that was rushing down the street.  they were having a good time.  right there i had a choice.  was i going to go with in or live?  i did change my clothes real quick and joined my babies out in the rain. even the big guys came out. we splashed and kicked the puddles at each other.  we floated a plastic duck down the stream.  we had a great time.  we were making memories.  maybe crazy memories but we were making them none the less and we were having a great time in the process.

today i went to see my grandpa.  i told him about playing in the rain with the children as per his instructions to make memories.  he smiled and patted my hand approvingly.  with that my mom began to share fun times that she remembered with her dad, my grandpa while growing up.  it was a sweet time. a day that i will treasure always.

december 4, 2014 at 7:05pm Jesus our Lord and Savior pulled back the veil between heaven and earth and ever so tenderly invited my grandfather, Paul Kenneth Miller, to join Him there.  we are saddened as we will miss grandpa more then i think i can even comprehend at this moment but we truly rejoice  that he is not in any pain, that he is worshiping the King of Kings and that he is in eternity.  my grandfather was a man who loved Jesus, loved my grandmother (married for 74 years) and loved his family very much.  he was a man of integrity, great character and a hero to many.  not a perfect man, but a real man.  i am so grateful for the many memories that he made with me, my husband and our children.

thank you grandpa.  i love you.

Miscarriage Remembrance Month

quote found on pintrest

Did you know that October is a remembrance month of miscarriage, stillbirth, pregnancy loss and infant loss?   Did you know that chances are that those mamas (and daddys) that have lost babies through miscarriage, or stillbirth still think of those little ones that that they never got  to hold at their breast and rock in the night?  How do I know?  Because I am one of those mothers.  1 out of 4 mothers lose their babies to pregnancy loss,

I have five babies in heaven.  Three of them I have named.  Two of them I have gone through labor and delivery  I have held them, wrapped them in blankets, stroked their tender cheeks, kissed their sweet faces.  I have buried them.  I have been swollen with milk unable to nourish my little one.  My body still bears the stretch marks of pregnancy.  My arms still long to hold the babies.  At night when I rest my hand still lays over my empty womb waiting to feel the flutters that won't come.  I say "I" in all of this but the loss is ours.  My husband and I.  We have gone through these losses together.

When I have had pregnancy loss I really haven't had a question of why but fully believe that it part of God's perfect plan for my life.  For my families life.  I still grieve.  My heart still breaks.  I still think of and long to hold my children.  BUT I know that the Lord is faithful.  He has yet to leave me.  He gives me soothing peace as only a heavenly Father can do.  He reminds me of His love for me. Reminds me that my children are with him free from the confusion of this world.

For the last two deliveries with my children at home I have sung during labor and delivery.  I know that sounds strange but i grew up singing.  loving to sing and was able to block out hurt or distraction with song.  So i tried this with the intense pain of labor.  the morning of knowing that I would need to delivery a baby whose breathe was gone I walked around the block of our neighborhood.  I needed to be alone with the Lord.  Wondered if I could get labor to start moving.  I remember feeling like I was on a death march.  Knowing there was no turning back but that at that moment the Lord God had it planned for me to go through this storm.  My Jesus can walk on water and He can calm the storms. The song "Captivate Us" by Watermark   came on.  I locked it in on my phone and that would be the song that we would listen to for the hours of this journey.  My husband and I were able to quickly learn the words as we would sing together. Crying and holding each other we would continue to worship.  Now, a year latter, when that song comes on we reach for one another's hand.  Praising Jesus for the little girl that song reminds us of and missing her terribly.  Her name is Maple Clara.  A little sister to three sisters and four brothers here.

Chances are you know someone who has lost a little one that they love and still miss.  Why not send them a handwritten note to let them know you haven't forgotten and you know they haven't either.  I know for me it is healing to talk about my little ones - especially as it is so recent to have lost them.  I have lost three babies in the last 19 months.

I am still awaiting the due date of my fifth last miscarriage. I was four months. October 25, 2014.

Have you lost a little one?  Your child? A grandchild? If you like please honor them by writing their name in the comet list below.

Monica 14 weeks 1995
Matthew David 7 months February 2000
Easter baby 8 weeks March 31, 2013
Maple Clara 5 months October 20, 2013
Baby Caldwell 4 months April 14, 2014

As with all rules...

             As with all rules, even silly rules, they are usually put in place because the event it is referring to has happened.  Yes.  All of these rules have been put in place because of previous incidents or because of great planning.  My children tease me that I have to many rules, but as you can see with the list below, some of them are just necessary.  With seven children almost anything can happen.  Trust me.  ANYTHING can happen.  Praise the Lord for that.  What an incredible blessing of adventure they bring to our home!

I know some of them would fall under the category of "Oh gross!", but Hey!  It's real life!  And it's mine...

House Rules

1.    No tinkling into the coop for the baby chickens, especially when the coop is in the house.

2.    Do not vacuum up the chicken poop.  It makes the vacuum and the hall closet smell really bad.

3.    Do not hit chickens with sticks when you are chasing them.

4.    Do not eat chicken poop.  Don’t even try it.  It is not good for you.  Icky. Icky.

5.    Do not chase your brother with the mop.

6.    Do not chew gum that you find already chewed at the park.

7.    Do not pour the honey onto the table, or onto the chair your bare feet are standing on.

8.    Do not tape your brother to a tree even if he asks you to.  This is especially important if mommy is not home.

9.    Do not fasten your stuffed animals in anyway to the ceiling fan.  They can go for a ride on the swing set instead.

10. Do not keep your snail collection behind the couch in the house.

11. Do not turn the refrigerator or freezer knobs to the “off” position.  This is especially bad right before mommy is planning to entertain for dinner.

12. Do not chase each other with butter knives.

13. No you may not kill a bear with a butter knife.

14. Do not drink ketchup out of a sippy cup.

15. Do not open three boxes of almond milk at the same time.

16. Do not mix a container of almond milk with popcorn and water.

17. Do not serve this “drink” to your brothers or yourself.

18. Do not drink out of the fishbowl.

19. Do not try to hunt the fish with a butter knife.

20. Do not mix syrup and baking soda on the pantry floor.

21. Do not climb on the counter to unlock the high lock daddy put on the pantry.

22. Do not empty mommy's hair products out.

23. Do not kiss anybody’s eyeball.

24. Do not take a bite out of anyone’s deodorant.

25. Do not pour the container of laundry soap on the laundry room floor.  This isn’t really how the clothes get clean.

26. Do not chase your brother with a PVC pipe.

27. Do not put rose petals in the VCR.

28. Don’t encourage the dog to walk on the table.

29. Don’t put the dog in the baby’s crib.

30. Do not put extra covers on the baby with out asking.

31. Stop telling your brother that FedEx is coming to pick him up.

32. Take your muddy boots off before you come in the house.

    Do not put gravel in the hubcaps of the car.  This makes daddy think that the           breaks are having a really bad problem.

33. Do not look up in the bottom of the vacuum while it is running.  This is really bad when your sister is the one looking and she has really long hair.  This can cause her hair to get sucked up really fast.  If this does happen, pull the vacuum off of the child’s head quickly in one smooth motion.  Kind of like a big heave. 

34. Do not pour milk on your sister.  This is not considered “water” in a water fight.

35. Do not tie your grandparents to the sofa bed at three in the morning with yarn.

36. Do not paint the dog.

37. Do not paint the house without Daddy or Mama’s permission.

38. Do not glue anything to the carpet.

39. Do not put the baby on the treadmill to see how fast he can crawl.

40. You must keep your clothes on in Sunday School.

41. Do not paint the chickens.

42. No chickens allowed to free range walk in the house.  I know this is ok at your Aunt’s house but not here!

43. Do not run thru the house with a pail of water.

44. DO NOT take Mama’s dark chocolate with out asking.