Pack up the Tents

we have moved many times.  how many?  many...
it's been in a time period of 20 years...
and here we go again.  and it is good.
and it is clear.
we have been in southern ca for 5 years now.  we came from the central coast with a job transfer.  we said "oh Lord, we will go anywhere but l.a."  hence why we are in l.a.
and it's been hard.
and it's been good.

we are transferred again to a mountain area.  we are going to be mountain people.  imagine.  we will live on a strong slanted hill where it would really be a bad idea to sled down it considering it's a pretty busy road at the bottom.  we won't really have a yard, but the forest is close, right??  checked out the library and it looks like it will be a good fit for our family.  small town libraries are the best.  it is a 950 sq. ft. cabin.  3 bedrooms.  2 bathrooms. (that part is a gift from the Lord - thank you)

i feel like the Lord has told us, "pack up your tents.  time to go.  your work is done here and I've got things for you to do".
and it brings a big sigh.
this probably has a lot to do with the fact that our two oldest boys have lived in the back yard in a
ti pi for the last year and half - yes, by choice.  they wanted to brave the storms of winter and the blazing heat of summer.  we learned we were moving so one afternoon while the ti pi was dry it was time for it to come down and for the men to move back inside like civilized folk.  terribly hard to sleep for the first few nights with having a comfortable bed and all.  the ti pi came down, was rolled up and packed away for a indefinite time until it comes out of the "long term storage" pile for the next set of adventures, late night book readings and midnight rat captures.

this last five years living in this city life place has been a huge season of loss for us.  loss of our babies, loss of three amazingly loving grandparents, loss of a relationship of one dearly loved & missed, loss of friends, loss of a child of a friend, loss of health for several that we love.  it has been a heavy season. it has been a growing season.  a season of listening.  a season of waiting.  a season of questioning.
and we still have hope.
hope in our Savior.
trust in his plan for us...

i keep thinking of calling my grandfather to tell him of the new things going on and he isn't there.  but still, his christmas present sits on the mantle wrapped...i think i will leave it a bit longer.  not ready to move it yet... strange how it takes so long to adjust.

i seek the Lord, searching His Word, asking for a word from Him.   i wait...ask Him to release me from the fear that i have entangled myself in.  asking Him to heal the holes in my heart knowing and trusting that He patch it perfectly.

i look forward in anticipation of what He is leading us to.

it has also been a season of joy...
we have been so blessed to have our family grow with a son-in-law and a bright, blue-eyed baby grandson.
blessed by our neighborhood,
blessed by our lay-hands-on-you-and-pray-in-the-name-of-Jesus-neighbors.  (yes! that's you!)
       by this we have been most blessed; people confident in our God's good and perfect plan for each one of us.
blessed by the home fellowship group we have been able to be a part of and for the dear friendships made there that we hope will last a lifetime.
we have had the great joy of a growing and loving marriage - soon to be 20 years.
of reunited friendships,
a special relationship with a most dear auntie & uncle,
time with our folks,
and now a season on mountain living.
we are truly blessed.

our sweet "baby girl" & our grandbaby

We Played In the Rain

                                             at grandpas's 100th birthday - october 30, 2014


a  week ago i left my 100 year old grandfather's hospital room and on my way out he stopped my husband and me.  he said "keep taking trips.  go on picnics.  be together as a family.  that's where the memories are."

two days ago my mother told me that grandpa had officially been put on hospice care.  my children were just finishing their lunch and we talked about the new information we knew about grandpa miller.  we went to the front porch to watch the rain pour down.  it was amazing.  the curious slowly left the cover of the porch and inched their way out to the lawn looking back to me to see if the were going to get called back or not.  i let them play.  soon there were big splashes in the river of a gutter that was rushing down the street.  they were having a good time.  right there i had a choice.  was i going to go with in or live?  i did change my clothes real quick and joined my babies out in the rain. even the big guys came out. we splashed and kicked the puddles at each other.  we floated a plastic duck down the stream.  we had a great time.  we were making memories.  maybe crazy memories but we were making them none the less and we were having a great time in the process.

today i went to see my grandpa.  i told him about playing in the rain with the children as per his instructions to make memories.  he smiled and patted my hand approvingly.  with that my mom began to share fun times that she remembered with her dad, my grandpa while growing up.  it was a sweet time. a day that i will treasure always.

december 4, 2014 at 7:05pm Jesus our Lord and Savior pulled back the veil between heaven and earth and ever so tenderly invited my grandfather, Paul Kenneth Miller, to join Him there.  we are saddened as we will miss grandpa more then i think i can even comprehend at this moment but we truly rejoice  that he is not in any pain, that he is worshiping the King of Kings and that he is in eternity.  my grandfather was a man who loved Jesus, loved my grandmother (married for 74 years) and loved his family very much.  he was a man of integrity, great character and a hero to many.  not a perfect man, but a real man.  i am so grateful for the many memories that he made with me, my husband and our children.

thank you grandpa.  i love you.